


Oops! All Brothers!

by Toilet Mojito (Wicked_Yarn)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Drug Use, Everyone loves reader, F/M, Lodge AU, Oops! All Brothers, Self-Indulgent, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale), Undertale AU, Weed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:48:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29193306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wicked_Yarn/pseuds/Toilet%20Mojito
Summary: Reader is recruited by Ink to help save an unstable Lodge timeline
Relationships: Fell!Papyrus(undertale)/Reader, Fell!Sans(undertale)/reader, Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader, Swap!Papyrus(undertale)/reader, Swap!Sans(undertale)/reader
Comments: 26
Kudos: 143





	1. Excuse me, What?

Another hard day at work passed, you trudge into your small apartment, toss your jacket onto the couch, and head into the kitchen. Feet aching and mind buzzing, you just grab some leftover pizza and a soda before heading to your room. Stepping inside made you feel better in an instant, skeletal faces all around loosened the knot in your heart as you made your way to the computer desk. As the computer booted you picked up one of the figures on your desk and ran your thumb over his smooth skull and smiling face, "Hey Sans, Buddy. You would not believe the day I just had." 

It might be a little sad or ' _cringe_ ' but getting to talk about your day to Sans, Papyrus and all their variants made you feel better. Plus, it's not like anyone could see the Dakimura of Stretch you had propped up on the bed so you could pretend he was hanging out and listening. It was just your little secret bone themed oasis in a life that felt a little too unfulfilling and lonely. 

Rant finished you tucked into your leftovers and started scrolling through fanfic, perking when you saw something new on the list.  
  
"Mmph! New Lodge au? Gimmie!" you muttered to nobody and clicked. 

Six hours later you were laying in bed, Stretch by your side as your eyes refused to focus on the words. You reread Edge yelling at Red for leaving his socks in the living room about ten times before you gave off and turned off your phone. Snuggling against your Daki you finally drifted off, maybe you'd dream about them this time?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Heeeeey, _Heeeey_...Heyheyheyheyhey **heyhey** -" A voice started to break through your dream, warping the annoying customer into an even more annoying customer before you realized the voice wasn't from your dream. It paused for a beat when you stirred, eyes slowly opening to look into a pair of empty sockets with a yellow diamond and blue circle floating in them. Ink straightened up and clapped his hands together with a grin  
  
"AH! You're awake! Perfect! Okay, so first off," He pulled his over-sized paintbrush from his back, twirled it, and posed with his fingers in the anime V by his eye. "Ta-daaaaah! **I'm REAL!** " 

You didn't move, staying frozen and tensed in bed. It's sleep paralysis. It's just some weird-ass hallucination you're having cause you're brain's still trying to dream. Ink Sans was totally NOT in your room and poking at all your merch, nope, can't be. Not real.

"I Gotta say! I thought I liked the AU's but you, MAN! You and so many other players and creators in this timeline are like nuts about it!" He said looking at your computer desk, "Ooooo, is that your sketchbook?" He picked it up and started opening it, his colors growing more vivid in excitement.

"HEY!" The word burst from your mouth as you sat up, pointing at him from the tangle of sheets. "You don't just get into someone's sketchbook like that!" Ink blinked at you curiously, that's when it hit you if you can move and talk, it's definitely not sleep-paralysis.

"Ah, shit. I'm crazy."

Ink smiled and padded over, hopping onto the bed and pulling your Daki into a hug.  
  
"Crrrraaazy about skeletons, _maybe_!" The way his eye lights sparkled at you didn't comfort you much, let alone the fact he was real, solid, and sitting on your bed.

You bury your face in your hands and groan, this was way too much to wake up to. Though the confusion melted into growing anxiety, as the weight of who was in your room settled in. Ink Sans was a bit of an enigma. He could be generally considered to be a good guy, but the truth was as a neutral force of the collective fandom, he could also make the most frightening villain. Slowly you lowered your hands and looked to him, trying desperately to keep your face neutral. "So, uh...what are you doing here? In real life?"

He gasped and stood up, wedging Stretch's pillowy image under his arm.  
  
"Ohmaigawd! I can't believe I almost forgot! There's a **Biiiiig** Emergency! Something that threatens the whole stability of the Lodge Au, as a whole! I need a creator to help make it right!" 

Well, if you've gone insane you're at least going on a mental adventure. You crossed your arms to hear him out before you decided if you wanted to be this crazy or not.  
  
"Like, the whole Au will just collapse? But what about all the fics, I mean, if every fic is a possible timeline, shouldn't that sustain it?" 

Okay, maybe you've thought about the workings and implications of fanworks and timelines after a bong rip too often.

"AH! A True creator! I've chosen well!" Ink said, eyes bursting into stars before dropping back into a serious tone.  
  
"But No! This timeline is corrupted, unstable! I need someone who can help correct it! No time to explain fully, we gotta go!"

"Wh-?" You started as Ink's brush cut through the air, forming a portal in the middle of your room. He grabbed onto you and before you could stammer another syllable he was yanking you through. The Portal in your room closed up, nobody but your merch witness to the impossibility that just occurred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the lead up to my first big trash fic. Seriously, thus far writing this has been pure self-indulgence and I've been loving it!  
> I hope some of you find joy in it as well!


	2. Dinner Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue just wanted a nice dinner for once...

Red's alarm went off at 5:30pm, he rolled over and groped for his phone to swipe it off and flop face-first back into his pillow. Promptly at 5:35, His brother's ringtone greeted him, and rather than risk him coming up to wake him up personally, he answered. Voice rough from sleep still clinging to him, "Hey Boss, what ya need?"

" **What I NEED Brother, is for you to be on time to dinner FOR ONCE!!!** " Edge's harsh voice spoke, warming red's soul a bit to know his bro cared. Sure this went down most days but it still made him smile.  
  
"Heh, sorry 'bout that. I'll get my carcass down there." 

" **See that you do.** " Edge said and hung up, frowning at the dinner table. He'd set it, arranged a centerpiece and everything and that damn Weedsack had just tossed take-out bags from Muffet's and Grillby's onto his immaculate serving table!!! It was Lazy! It was Wasteful! It was disgusting!!! The very sight of it brought a sneer of disdain to his face, but a greasy dinner would make his brother happy so he just grunted in annoyance at the display. Marching into the kitchen to see how the others were fairing with the punch.

Blue and Rus stood at the island over the annoyingly cheerful plastic punch bowl Blue found at a dollar store, Edge crossed his arms as he observed the display. 

"Okay, Pappy. Now you just need to add in the pineapple juice..." Blue instructed and watched with a confused smile as Papyrus gripped the large bottle and lifted it up above his head, the younger Skeleton intending to hurl the whole bottle into the bowl. 

"WAIT!" Blue exclaimed, holding up his gloved hands to make him freeze. Giving an awkward chuckle  
  
"N-not like that, Bro-bro. Punch doesn't need passion! It needs happiness!" He demonstrated this by picking up the orange juice bottle and carefully stirring it into the fizzy soda base. 

Rus watched this, his sockets sparkling with understanding. "AH! I see! WELL! ALLOW ME TO GIVE IT ALL MY HAPPINESS!!" He opened the pineapple juice and with a firm motion, emptied its whole contents into the bowl. 

Predictably, the contents sloshed and hit Blue right in the face. Making him recoil while Rus stood there proudly, his apron splashed as well and struck a pose.   
  
"THE GREAT PAPYRUS...is actually very excitable when happy."

Blue stood there a moment frozen with his eye lights out before letting out a weak chuckle. "Y-yeah-ha haaaa...You sure are Rus." 

"Are you mad, Blue?" Rus asked softly, head tilting in concern.

"Nah, Bro-bro! Why do you ask?" Blue said starting to grope his way around the island. Papyrus eventually offering him a hand to help him walk around to the sink. 

"Your Eyelights are out! Sans and Red both do that when they're mad." He explained with a touch of nervousness in his voice, but Blue waved him off.

"Naaaaah! The Citrus is just reeeaally burning is all." Blue explained, turning on the water and briefly thankful that he couldn't burn when he ducked his head close to the sink and used the spray nozzle to rinse out his sockets. His voice garbled as the water in his skull dripped out his mouth, tasting vaguely of punch.   
  
"Edge, Khood Oou Fissnish?" he garbled through the water

Edge rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, crossing over to the freezer to get the sherbert Blue insisted no punch was complete without. " **Of COURSE I will!** " he sarcastically tossed at them, grabbing the scoop from the drawer and slamming it shut.   
  
" **Stars above know that The Once-Malevolent and STILL Very Great Papyrus can clean up everyone's mistakes around this joke of a home!** "

Blue lifted his free hand to give him a thumbs up and a garbled thanks. Rus turning to give him a smile so bright it was painful   
  
"VERY COOL OF YOU, EDGEY ME! The Great Papyrus, Great as I am, Makes many Mistakes! It's Good to know the Coolest Papyrus has my back!" 

Edge narrowed his eyes at him and practically ripped the top off the carton to start scooping in perfect spheres of multi-colored sherbert. " **Manipulative little creature**." He muttered under his breath, face flushed from the power of Rus's praise.

Rus didn't comment on that aside from a smile and a small 'nyeh' of amusement, turning to help Blue dry out his dripping skull. Handing him paper towels that Blue held to his sockets and nose to catch the water he sprayed inside, he was sure he'd be smelling pineapple for days after this. 

"Hey there, Bluejay." Red drawled as he sauntered into the kitchen. 

" _Oh criminy_ , Hi Red," Blue muttered into a pile of paper.

"So, did Rus _punch_ ya in the face again?!" He asked with a grin Blue could hear, it also made his arm briefly tremble with the desire to punch him in the face. 

"Technically you're correct, THOUGH That pun is wearing itself thin." Rus said his friendly grin not dropping even when scolding his brother's counterpart.

" **THAT Would imply it was good at any point in time! Go wait at the Dinner table with the rest of the slackers, Brother.** " Edge ordered, Red shrugging off the danger in his voice to wander towards the dining room   
  
"Sure thing, Boss."

Edge groaned and picked up the finished punch to bring it into the dining room, ever-present frown deepening when he saw his immaculate table setting had been defaced. Cheap paper streamers on the hanging from the chandelier, cartoon characters grinning at him from paper cups and napkins, and who did he find sitting across from his brother but 'That Weedbag.'

"Hey Edge, I finished decorating.... as ya said." Stretch drawled, dirty sneakers up on the edge of the table, far too close to where his own plate was to sit. Edge's face flushed as he made a low sound, hands tightening on the bowl and envisioning the whole mess of it slamming into that lazy, barely a Papyrus face of his! His tension melted away at the image, placed the bowl calmly down, walked over to him, and slapped his feet off the table.

" **Your design sense is SERIOUSLY Lacking, how much weed did it take to come up with this plan?!** "   
  
He snatched up one of the cups and squinted at it, Ice-E's strained grin greeted him but it looked off. Upon closer inspection it said "Esse-ie", he looked at that infuriatingly unaffected and relaxed face and felt a fresh wave of frustration.  
  
" **I don't know how you managed to find a knock off of something that shouldn't have existed in the first place. I'd be more impressed if this wasn't completely on-brand for you.** "

There were a whoosh and pop of teleportation just behind him, followed by dozens of balloons shooting out around him. Some Caught on the sharper points of Edge's pointy frame and poped, drawing yelps from him while the survivors bounced against the ceiling.

Edge's most supportive brother, of course, started to cackle and pounded his fist on the table. Rattling the tableware as Edge picked bits of rubber off his face and dress armor. His gaze flicked over to the far corner of the table and found Sans slumped over his place setting and acting as if he'd been asleep until just this moment. 

" **Let's just get this over with.** " Edge muttered and grabbed a bag to start dividing up the greasy food as Rus and Blue came from the kitchen to share equal annoyance at the fast-food dinner. Blue however pushed on, smiling as he lifted a glass of punch into the air and announced with pride  
  
"Guys! It's been three months since this whole mess has begun and I'm glad to see we're all doing our best to make it work! You're all my brothers-" Edge snorted at this "-I'm glad we can share this monthly dinner party with more as our family grows!" 

That's when the portal ripped open in the dining room wall, the force of magic knocking most of the decorations off. The monsters scrambled out of their seats to face the unexpected anomaly, gaping as a new Sans burst out, dragging a human by the arm. They stepped onto solid ground and the portal popped shut, leaving them alone with the new figures.

The new, eccentrically colorful Sans beamed at them, his grin just growing wider as they all stared at each other in shock Until...

"Who the fuck is that?!" Blue exclaimed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP! The boys are here! Stay turned for more <3


	3. Social Cues are Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ink has trouble dealing with people...seriously

Sans was deeply confused and concerned as he looked at the strange version of himself, he didn't seem dangerous but portaling out of nowhere was an ability he couldn't ignore. Teleporting was impressive by monster standards but this guy had just ripped open reality and resealed it like nothing! Then there was the human with him, He stayed on alert but....was she wearing pajamas? 

" **HEY!** The squirt-" "Red, please don't call me that." "-Asked who the fuck you are!" Red growled, his shoulders hunching up and his single red eye light flaring up with power. "You better answ-"

"HIYA!!!! I'm Sans!"   
  
The stranger announced waving and grinning like a child as he looked around the room at the similar boney faces. "But everyone calls me Ink! And You're Vanilla! And You're Red! And You're Blue And You're Rus! An-" 

" **ENOUGH!** " Edge snapped "andyou'reedge." **"Who is the human and why have you brought them? Are they from your timeline?** "

"Huh?" Sans looked to you, at last, finding you shocked and gaping at the skeletons all around.  
  
"Oh! Nope! I dug her out of a different timeline and brought her here!"

Suddenly every set of eye lights was on you, which didn't help the anxiety welling up in your chest very much at all. Your mouth agape and eyes flicking between every skull. You've seen artwork- loads of it - each a possibility of the faces you saw now, and hardly any of it could hold a candle to the real thing. Actual _living_ skeletons, familiar to you but now they weren't just dreams or ideas, but living, breathing?- people who just had their dinner party crashed. Your face was on fire, your heart pounding wildly as every implication and realization crashed together in your brain, leaving you only a choked whine to give in response to the attention.

**Y/N L/N**   
**LV 1 HP 18/20**   
**Has never seen a real monster before**

Rus tilt his head and looked from the human to Ink. "Okay! But why?"

Ink blinked and then gasped, face-palming as he remembered his task "OH YEAH!!! To fix a problem! This timeline is unstable! It's disastrous! I Couldn't just let it happen!"

That got attention, the posture of the judges in the room changing in an instant, sweat starting to drip down their skulls in worry.  
  
"WHAT?! What's Wrong?!" Sans said, pinprick eye lights shrinking. 

"You guys would have NEVER found a human soul mate in this timeline!" Ink announced, his voice the very tone of despair. You didn't miss how most of the eye lights went out around you, and if you had them, they probably would have gone out too.

" _ **WHAT?!**_ " Came from not only your own throat but from Red and Stretch, the three of you mustering glares to throw at Ink.  
  
You, however, also had hands to throw as well. Swatting Ink in the back of the head made him yelp and curl in on himself just as another smack came at his face but caught only his forearms. 

"You are SERIOUSLY telling me, you dragged me from my _HOME_! My **WORLD**! Because, what?! _Shipping!?_ " You yelled at him, blood rushing in your ears and tears pricking at your eyes. It was so much, way too much to take all at once. 

If you had a tension meter, the bar would be busting out the end and racing off the screen. You gripped your head and looked down at the floor, unable to handle seeing them again when you felt so bad. So ugly and strained, like a bit of frayed fabric about to rip. 

"You made it sound like they were in danger, Ink! I thought the timeline itself was going to collapse! I...I..." Your ranting stammered to a standstill, throat tightening painfully and mind aflame as your nerves refused to let a single thought pass. "...This isn't Okay...."

For what it was worth, Ink looked worried for her as she started to cry. His brows knit and he took the Daki from under his arm and held it up   
  
"I'm sorry, Human. Would hugging your Stretch pillow help?"

You looked up and saw the Daki in question, Stretch's relaxed sleeping form on the case with an easy smile that had indeed helped you through emotional-rough patches. But when seeing it came with seeing the REAL, actual Stretch just off to the side looking surprised and a bark of laughter you knew was from Red?   
  
Well, it felt a lot like having your mother wave your period panties in front of your whole high school on prom night. 

And just as if that had happened, you turned and blindly ran from the room to find the nearest bathroom, slammed the door shut just before the meltdown begins in full. Not even bothering to turn on the light as you buried your face in your hands and sunk to the floor, unsure how to process everything at once, you just cried. 

Back out in the dining room, Blue was gaping at Ink and slowly realizing he might not like him very much.  
  
"For crying out LOUD, Ink! Why'd ya have to humiliate her like that! I-I don't know _WHAT_ that thing is or why my bro's on it, but it looks private!" 

Called out, Ink looked back to Blue and dropped the daki to the floor. He held his tongue between his teeth as he started doing mental math, the lodge skeletons were annoyed, the human was crying, and there weren't any chocolate bars on the dinner table.  
  
"I think I might have meddled a bit too much."

Blue groaned, rolling his eyes "Oh, you THINK! Once she calms down, you better-"

"I'll let you guys settle down a bit! I'll bring more of her stuff later, BYE!"  
  
Ink shot out quickly, opening a portal under him and simply falling out of this timeline and back into oblivion. The portal sealing up before any of them could follow or stop him. Leaving six very shocked skeletons standing around a cooling dinner with the faint sounds of crying coming from down the hall.

_________

You weren't sure how long you'd been in there by the time you finished crying, arms and hands trembled, your heart still pattered along a little too fast for comfort But the worst had passed. Slowly you groped at the dark walls until you found the switch and turned on the light. You weren't sure what you expected, it looked normal. Save for the potted plant sat comically inside the toilet, which felt a bit out of place. But for the most part, it was so typical that for a moment, it seemed you hadn't left your reality at all. 

The face in the mirror wasn't comforting though, your eyes red and puffy and your lips were swollen from biting to try and stifle yourself. You were in short, a mess. 

_It's gonna be okay. Focus on the small stuff. Just clean yourself up and try to steady your breathing. Don't even think about what's outside that door until you do that._

You told yourself, focusing on the sink, running cool water, and splashing your face. The shock was grounding, refreshing on your heated and raw skin, and helped clear away the doubt gunking up your mind. With every, slow measured inhale and exhale, you regained some control. The numbness after the meltdown helped weirdly in letting you just accept this unfathomable change in...everything. 

You finished drying your face with one of the soft hand towels when a knock came from the door, your heart leaping briefly. _Oh yeah, skeletons live here._

"Hey, Human..." A soft, sleepy voice called from the other side. "You okay? Feel like coming out soon?" 

His voice was low and soft, if you had to guess...maybe Stretch? You closed your eyes, reminding yourself that they were generally, pretty cool guys these skeletons. Unless everyone's theories were way off, there were worse places you could have ended up.

_It's okay, It's okay, It's okay._ You chanted in your mind to convince yourself it was true, cracking the door just a bit until you could see a line of the monster in question. His expression softening as golden eyesight focused on you, unlit cigarette bobbing with a smile.  
  
"Heeeeey, there she is."

Heat bloomed across your face once more. As otherworldly as it was to see your comfort character alive and sentient in front of you, it felt even more amazing to finally feel his smile aimed at you. 

"H-hey...I'm Y/n..." You held your shaky hand through the door to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting easily overwhelmed is much like speed running through all possible awkwardness.  
>  Though it often shows you who the kindest people are when you're done crying <3
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Getting High is easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stretch is a weed-scented, friend-shaped angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 420 Skeleton hours

"Nice to meet ya, Honeybun." He said, taking your hand, his made of warm bone. His fingers were so smooth they nearly felt soft against your palm, Your pulse pounding in your ears again when he didn't let go of your hand. 

Stretch knit his brow as he looked down at the nervous human, she looked rough after that cry and was still trembling like a leaf. He traced his thumb over the back of her palm, trying to be friendly as possible. After all, she was stuck here like everyone else. 

"You need anything? You were in there a while..."

You let out a soft laugh, this was unreal.

"Probably a lot of weed. This is a lot to process...."You said, half-joking.

"Oh, I got some up in my room." He offered with a nod down the hall. 

Your brows lifted at this, though really you shouldn't have been surprised.

"I mean... _if you're offering_." 

That drew a laugh from the tall skeleton as he turned, leading you by the hand away from your hiding spot. You passed back through the dining room and out into the living room. Somebody was watching tv, but you didn't catch who as you turned to take the stairs to the second floor. They didn't seem to notice you either as you reached the second-floor hall. Two doors down from the stairs, you came to Stretch's room. A dry-erase board had his name written on it and several post-it notes you assumed were from Blue from the stars dotted around them.

His room was a mess, but not in the way you would have imagined. There wasn't much clutter on the floor but, there was an avalanche of clothes spilling out of his closet. The wastebasket was overfilling with fast food wrappers and his sizable ashtray held a mountain of precarious ash and butts. Stretch lead you to his bed, pushed some of his random pillows and blankets aside, and pat it   
  
"Hop up and get comfy, honeybun." 

You did just that, feeling a bit weirded out. You used to keep that Stretch pillow on your bed, now you were on Stretch's bed....you couldn't wait to stop thinking about your new reality. He sat down at his computer desk and got out a tin pencil box 

"So, you want a joint or a bong, kiddo?"

"Heh, I'm probably older than you...and a bong, please." You answered and looked around his walls, the few old posters he had pinned up were probably from the underground. Whoa, the underground existed...

When you looked back to him he'd gotten a bong from, somewhere, magic probably. The body was made of yellow glass and shaped like a honey bear. Of course, it was you thought with a smile. 

"Ah, and Honey...What's with this guy?" Stretch said, pointing beside you. You turned your head to find your Daki was now propped up on the bed beside you.

" _Oh my god._ " You muttered, gaping at the now embarrassing item, and put your face in your hands to groan.   
  
"Christ, Stretch....it's humiliating and hard to explain is what." 

"Heh, alright, alright. But I wanna know eventually, okay?"

He was smirking at you, you swear he was. Peeking through your fingers you found it to be true, along with this glint in his eyes that made your stomach flip flop. 

_Oh god, being alone with him was a mistake._

You could have thanked him out loud when he seemed to drop it, handing you the bong and a lighter as he turned to the worn tv atop his overstuffed dresser. "Not every day I meet my biggest fan, ya know." 

"Christ Stretch, you're gonna make me choke."

\------------------------------------------

He was still scrolling through Netflix when you looked up and sighed out some smoke. Whatever this stuff was it was working wonders, the delightful buzz in your skull didn't leave much room for anxiety or worries.

"I haven't even finished this, Stretch what the hell is this?" You asked with a soft giggle. 

"Dunno, Grew it myself from some seeds I found in the dump back in the underground." He admitted and glanced at you with ever-growing amusement. 

You were so much cuter when you were relaxed and smiling. 

There was a knock at the door and it opened, Red poking his skull inside.

"Hey, You see the-Oh shit, there ya are, Kitten!" He said with a grin that was all sharp teeth and a hint of red gums. You waved at him, the high making seeing him easier and the wonder of it hit. Red was right there, your chest swelled with nervous energy and unreleased giggles. 

"Hey, I'm feeling better," you said, bringing the light back against the bowl. 

"Heh, _Bet you are_!" He said and stepped in, closing the door behind him. There was a pop and he disappeared, only to reappear on the bed next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulders to steady you as his weight threw off your balance. 

"Dibs on next." He said, leaning in a bit too close.

You looked up at him with wide eyes and accidentally blew the smoke right into his face. The suddenness of his...' friendliness' taking you off guard.

Red's eye lights went out, he looked away to cough and rub at his stinging sockets. Stretch let out a raspy laugh at Red's expense. 

"Oh man, watch out Red. You spook her again and she might spit acid at you next time." He said lifting a second bowl from his stash box and starting to fill it. 

"Sorry, you surprised me." You said lamely, but when Red gave you a thumbs up through his grumbles and coughs, you smiled, bending your head to finish off the bowl at last. 

"No sweat, Kitten...course next time you wanna shotgun me. We should do it _Mouth to Mouth_." He rumbled as he turned back to you, lowering his...lids? He had eyelids, huh. He also seemed just fine if that line was anything to go by. 

"Not until the pandemic is over." You replied as you handed the spent bong back to Stretch, blinking when they both gave you a look.

"Whadda'ya mean, kitten?"

"Yeah, what Pandemic?" Stretch added, changing out the bowls.

"I am so glad I'm too high to cry right now. If you guys don't know about it, I don't wanna talk about it yet." You babbled and was glad for the shrugs they shared before muttered an agreement.

"What I do wanna talk about was the fact there was a _plant_ in the **toilet**."

Red barked out a laugh at that before taking the fresh bong from Stretch, motioning to the taller Skeleton.

"Oh man, you explain it."

"Heh, yeah so...When we got this place, Our bros kinda had a fit over how to deal with the bathrooms. Just having a useless device in there drove them nuts so...Plants. Tried to make them look fun and functional. Great plan right?"

"Yeah, that's an amazing plan. But, uh...if I'm staying with you guys for a bit...I'm kinda gonna need one that works."

You paused after that, especially since Red choked on his smoke. 

"Do...you guys even have toilet paper?....or know what it's for?" 

Red burst into choked laughter between coughs and wheezes, you turned to Stretch for an answer. He looked like he was barely containing his own laughter.

"Uh...Oh man, yeah, we'll fix one for ya, Honeybun...anything else?"

_"Oh_..." You said and inhaled deeply, pretty sure you already reached the bottom of your shame pit for the night.

"There is a slew of upsetting things my body does that I don't think ya'll are stocked up for."

Red exhaled an impossibly large plume of smoke and reached over to ruffle your hair. 

"We'll get you stocked up, Kitten. Ain't got anything better to do anyway if ya wanna come with."

You blinked "Like to the store?"

You glanced at Stretch's window, a dark sky beyond the curtains. 

"It's late, you sure?"

"You wanna hold it till morning?" Red asked with a grin, returning to his bong. Stretch shrugged and got out his phone.

"Late night shopping doesn't sound bad. We can pick up some snacks too."

He glanced at you and you suddenly realized you were still in your now tear-dampened pajamas.

"I'm gonna ask around for some spare clothes for ya, Honey." 

You glanced at the two of them and shrugged, smiling. "Sure....and thanks, guys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the best thing to do when reality is collapsing is to get high and think about it later


	5. MTT Mega Mart! Open 24/7!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go shopping after midnight, ya'll

You weren't sure what you were expecting from the donations, but the mountain of loose garments now piled in Stretch's room wasn't it. The lanky skeleton had just teleported the mess in here, on top of you specifically, and said to come down when you were dressed. While digging yourself out, you found some surprising prospects, things almost your size! Further digging revealed a gem amongst the black shorts and semi-clean hoodies. 

You tried it on and gasped at how closely it fit, maybe a half size larger. You smoothed the skirt of the dress down and chuckled at the sight of it. The black sleeveless dress landed just below your knee with bright flames that licked up the skirt. 

"Holy shit, who's is this?" You laughed and instantly felt much better. The cool dress really added to the Cinderella vibe.

You matched it with a red hoodie you were reasonably sure was Reds and some random shoes from the pile. Judging by the glitter stars on the sides, they were probably from Blue. Laces tied you called this outfit complete and made your way downstairs. 

Stretch and Red was waiting, Edge too! Which was surprising, having assumed he'd be in bed by now. 

"Hey, I'm ready." 

" **About time!** " Edge snapped and frowned down at you.

" **You three weed bags aren't going anywhere without a sober driver. You could at least be more respectful of my time.** "

You held your hands up and gave him a smile, trying to keep in mind how emotionally constipated he could be. At least he was if everyone's general assumptions were correct.

"Thanks, Edge. I'm thankful you have my safety in mind. It's really cool of you to drive us out last minute and everything." 

Edge glowered silently down at you for an extended beat before grunting. " **You're as bad as those two upbeat fools. You're right to be grateful! That Ashtray nearly hit a tree last time we let him drive high! Reminds me...** " 

He turned to Stretch and shot a hand out to him. " **Give me your keys. You're not smoking in my car.** " 

Stretch shrugged, digging in his pockets "Me? Smoke in your car, Edge? I would never." 

He then gave up on his pockets and leaned down to dig in his sock, pulling the keys out from there. 

....How did he stand keeping his keys in his sock?

" **Disgusting!** " Edge sneered and snatched the keys away to stalk to the front door.

" **Like I haven't smelled your cigarettes on the seats! COME ON!** "

\----------------

Stretch's ride was amazing, the old Van had been lovingly restored and its lovely orange and white paint job made it match with the stoner wonderfully. There was just one thing though...

Edge pulled open the sliding back door, frowning at the interior. " **Stretch.....Where are the rest of the seats?** " 

"Took 'em out to make room for the couch." He answered, reaching up to itch his jawbone. 

" **How's the human supposed to sit safely WITHOUT A SEAT!** " 

You winced at his volume, reaching up to rub at one sensitive ear. Edge could get surprisingly sharp despite the deepness of his voice.

Stretch shrugged, teleporting inside and flopping on the couch in question. "I was thinking I could just hold her..."

Edge seized Red by the back of his jacket, lifted the hefty Skeleton, and hurled him on top of Stretch with little effort.

" **Hold This.** " He growled and slammed the back door. Opening the passenger door open for you and nodding at the seat 

" **You sit here, human. I Won't have Classic accusing me of putting you in danger**!"

You gladly climbed up into something with a seatbelt, letting Edge shut the door for you as you buckled in. As if he didn't believe you, He reached over to check the buckle before buckling in himself. Only sparing a quick glance in the mirror at the two in the back he started off and drove, just slightly too quickly, out the driveway to the main highway.

\-------------------------------

"Oh my god..." 

The giant MTT Mega Mart in front of you looked as if someone put a garish neon paint job over a Walmart and added more lights and glitter. The Movie marquee welded to the façade spelled out " _now carrying HUMAN products!!!_ "

" **My thoughts exactly.** " Edge said taking a place beside you and surveyed the mostly empty parking lot as you crossed to the store. 

"Try to relax man, I don't think we're gonna get mugged," Stretch muttered, grabbing a cart to heavily lean against. 

" **Says a man who hasn't been mugged.** " Edge shot back, but he did relax some when you reached the store proper. And what a store it was, the large floor didn't seem divided up with much logic but had large and unhelpful neon signs with Metaton's face on them. The LED lights on the floor looked to be some sort of path system but they made several loops and traced odd shapes in the tiles.

"So....any idea where the boring human stuff is?" You asked, looking to the skeletons hopefully.

" **Probably in the back. He wants you to wander the fashion maze.** " Edge growled, crossing his arms and looking over the cacophony of color and light as if it were a battleground. Silently contemplating the plan of action.

"Edge-" you started but were cut off by his arm shooting out to point at the various sections. 

" **BROTHER! You take to the clothing section**!" Edge's empty sockets turned to look down at you with near chilling calculation. When he looked back to his brother, you had the feeling he read a little deeper into you than what you thought he could. 

" **Sizes one through three XL! DO NOT! I repeat, brother...** " Edge growled looming over Red and leaning into his face.

" **Absolutely, Do Not DARE think that I'll let you get away with just buying underwear and tee shirts.** " 

Red chuckled and shrugged, his knitted brow betraying the defensiveness in his tone. 

"W-what, hey! Boss, I would never! Paps, please! Me? Your brother? I'd never do Kitten dirty like that! Never. I mean...I wouldn't complain."

" **Go.** "

"I'm going!" Red said and marched off towards the forest of clothes.

" **Now...Ashtray.** " 

"Ooh, promoted from Weedbag to Ashtray," Stretch replied with a grin. 

" **Your lazy ass is best for picking out pajamas and slippers. Also,** " 

He gripped the shopping cart and yanked it away from Stretch, who didn't even wobble. He simply straightened up as if what he's been using for support never left.

"Gotcha, Edgelord. I'll pick you out something cute, Honeybee." Stretch said with a wink before shuffling off and leaving you with the mildly intimidating monster. 

"I appreciate getting it done faster, Edge. But shouldn't I pick my own clothes?" you asked, trailing along as he hurried towards the back of the store. 

" **These are emergency replacement clothes! Your real clothes will be from a real clothing store!** " Edge growled and eyed some of the cheap-yet still over-hyped garments they passed with annoyance as you made it to the back aisles. 

"A real store?" You repeated, pausing to think for a moment. When was the last time you could have afforded something nice? Getting lucky at the thrift store aside, you usually just wore whatever you could afford that wasn't awful. 

"I don't think I've gone to a clothes-only store since high school."

" **Well, Get used to it! Too many people in that house dress like trash already!** "

\--------------------------------

Where you found that the human products were indeed stored, not arranged by what goes with what or by purpose...but by alphabet. A to Z the products were in a jumble that briefly made your brain turn to static. No wonder Edge wanted to get this done quickly. 

"Oh, this is gonna take a while," you muttered, rubbing your temples to mentally prepare for the slough when large boney hands closed around your midsection. You weren't exactly a small person, which made the sensation of being effortlessly placed in the cart all the more surreal. Feet planted on the metal mesh bottom, you leaned back against Edge's chest for support, his chin just over your head. 

" **Let us not waste a moment then! NYEH!** " Edge sprinted down the aisle.

Yelping, you grabbed onto his arms and watched the products whizz by in a blur. Once you were confident you weren't going to fall out and die, the cart ride was almost fun until its abrupt end at the end of the aisle.

" **Hmph! You didn't grab anything!** " 

"Uh, yeah....cause I didn't wanna die." 

" **We'll make another pass, this time shop as fast as your puny human arms can!** "

\----------------------------------------------------

Eventually, you managed to snag the basics you'd need off the shelves without falling off the cart. When Edge saw fit to free you from the cart, you were glad to see Red and Stretch approaching. Edge narrowing his gaze at their empty arms.

" **Where are the human's supplies?** " 

"Don't sweat it, Bro! We already checked out and put it all in the van." Red assured him, then flashed you a tooth grin that made you wanna blush. 

"Got everything you need, Kitten?"

"Yeah, I think-Oh!" jogging up to one of the shelves, you quickly grabbed some pads and tossed them in the basket. When you noticed curious eyes on the brightly colored box, you pushed it deeper into the hoard. "Okay, we're good."

"That another embarrassing and hard to explain things?" Stretch gently teased as you all made your way to the checkout. 

"Google periods on your own time, weirdo." 

\-------------------------------------------------------

Back at the van, Edge opened the side door to load in the bags but paused when he saw the new occupant. On the couch was slumped a Teddy Bear in honey bee coveralls with a lazy smile and sleepy eyes. It's general air of smugness made him bristle. 

" **What the fuck is this?** " Edge demanded as he looked to the others. 

"A new friend for Y/N," Stretch answered, lighting up a cigarette. 

"What? No way!" You exclaim and move around Edge to get a better look. You gasped and instantly climbed inside, lifting the plush so that you could sit on the couch with it in your lap. He was just the right size, big enough for you to rest your chin on with your arms looped under his floppy arms. 

"I love him. I'm riding back here with Barry." 

Edge inhaled sharply, his sharp mouth pursing a little as he waded past his initial annoyance. 

" **You're naming it...Barry. I have half a mind to leave you here.** "

"It's not my fault Barry Bumble, the beekeeping bear has the best name ever." 

" **It has a backstory now. Let's get the fuck home already.** " Edge growled and loaded the last bags into the back. 

Stretch joined you in the back, his long arm slotting around you and keeping you securely at his side. You smiled and leaned into his side, admittedly feeling pretty safe with his arm around you as Edge and Red bickered in the front.

" **Three in the A.M, Brother. THREE! Tomorrow is completely shot, there's no way I'll be able to keep my schedule!** "

"Yeah, I know."

" **That means I might...Take The Day Off.** " The words were dripping with an unspoken threat. 

"Y-yeah? You know, I'm sure Undyne won't care if you're a little bit late, Boss. You could just...ya know...Text her?"

" **Three in the AM is not texting hours, Sans! NO! I'm staying home and we're catching up on chores.** " 

You couldn't see Red, but you were pretty sure he was dead from the sound he made. Smiling as you allowed yourself to relax fully against the lanky skeleton

"Thank you again, guys. Ya'll are awesome." 

You were pretty sure you heard Edge take full and complete credit for everything before you drifted off. Everything catching up to you in this moment of warmth and comfort, finally feeling safe enough to rest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL! This is the end of what I had written in advance (chapter 5 needed heavy editing ^^; )  
> I got some things planned but let's see where this ride goes!
> 
> Also wanna say real quick the feedback I've gotten thus far has just been lovely! <3  
> Reading your comments genuinely brightens my day and makes me wanna do more!


	6. low stakes pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pizza is delicious but there's no way it can break reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see bottom for Trigger Warnings

Dreams are weird, sometimes there's a set story and sometimes you're just wandering a field of vague concepts and half blurry scenarios. As if the weight of sleep itself was too heavy for the dreams to fight, so they half-assed it. Blending the sensations of walking down the hall of your childhood home with that of the specific spot in your primary school library you'd like to hang out in until you ended up buying groceries from your old math teacher. 

So, when you stirred from sleep at last and blinked blurrily at the unfamiliar room, you were far too sluggish to panic. You shifted and found a Teddybear nearby, gripping and pulling him up to your side you smiled, at least this part wasn't a dream. You shifted your legs and felt a gentle weight on them, groping a hand out again you gripped something soft and pulled it closer for inspection. An Orange hoodie, worn pilling fabric with some cigarette burns and the soft smell of fabric softener coming off it. 

"Huh...Still warm," you muttered with amusement, Stretch must have dumped his clean clothes on you while you were still asleep. 

What time was it? Would Blue be disappointed with how late you slept in?

You sat up at last and stretched your arms above your head, your back and neck cracked impressively in response. That's also when you caught a look at yourself. When you fell asleep in the van, you had been wearing a dress, but now you were wearing an unfairly soft black shirt with holographic Froggits. Pulling the blanket back revealed a matching pair of pants and you looked around to see if your former outfit was still around, it was not.

"Who?... Just, who?" you asked the air, face flushed and almost hoping you didn't find brand new panties when you went to the bathroom. Speaking of, you needed to ask them which bathroom to use and brush teeth, may as well face the music. 

You swung your legs over the edge and got out of Stretch's bed.  
  
You swung your legs over the edge and got out of your bed?  
  
You swayed, which way were you facing?  
  
Was the door on the Left? The Right?  
  
Both.  
  
Which room were you in?  
  
You took a step forward and away from yourself.  
  
One foot, two feet, three -  
  
  
Your head swam with sickly heat, your vision blurred between the two differing rooms before fading to static. Your legs felt weak, you wobbled then your knees suddenly gave way under you.  
  
You banged your arm on the dresser as you fell, an avalanche of collectables toppling on top of you.  
  
In Stretch's room, you had nothing to catch yourself with. You hit the floor, barely getting your hands under you to prevent breaking your nose. Something felt wrong though, you couldn't feel pain clearly through whatever was happening.  
  
Thankfully, you caught some attention.

Edge threw the door open.  
Your roommate called your name as she ran upstairs. 

Two sets of arms, one warm and soft, the other boney and strong hefted you up. The motion made you aware of how bad off you were, heat bloomed from deep in your skull and felt strangely like pins and needles as it reached your skin and your vision whited out. You weren't sure how much time you'd lost when you finally became aware once more. 

You were on something soft, Red was shining a cellphone light in your eyes to check your pupils at the same time some paramedics were doing the same. 

Sans was on the phone, pacing behind the couch.   
Your Roommate was crying while she tried to talk to a medic. 

You weakly lifted a hand against the painful sting of light, It was stiff and felt off making it hard to keep up. It flopped limply onto your hip and you barely managed a weak sound, let alone words. 

"She's destabilizing, It's an emergency!" 

"We'll keep you updated, we'll bring her in for a Cat scan and see what the issue is."

"Okay, Kitten. we gotta get you someplace safer."

With the movement came another wave of blinding light, your breath became short. It was less like your chest or throat was compromised and more like the air simply got thinner the further away from yourself you got.

Things got so blurry after that, flashes of rooms in different places between several worried skeleton face as you tried to reach out whenever reality seemed solid enough to do so. Eventually, it all blended back into the inconsistent scenes of the dreaming world, leaving you wandering the white void, peeking out windows at different events, unsure what you were even looking for.

\------------------------------------------------------

You weren't exactly sure you were awake until you felt something against your side shift. An arm you were fairly sure pressed you against the owner's chest, your face was pressed to a soft shirt, and...was that cologne you smelled on him? 

"Hey, you awake?" A low voice spoke and your eyes snapped open, that was not a voice you recognized. You looked up from the white teeshirt you had been staring at and was met by a single bright yellow eye. He smiled, it was crooked but unfairly charming as he patted your back.

"Hi...You're Ace." You said, stunned to be looking into the handsome, cracked face of G Sans, himself. His brows raised at the nickname and he chuckled softly.

"Well, if you wanna call me Ace, I won't complain." 

"Okay...why are we snuggling?" 

"Oh, just stabilizing your soul. We didn't have to both be laying down but I got sleepy." He said with a light shrug.

"Coooooool." you drawled, unsure how to handle the situation but there was a burning question. "Hey, Ace...was I dying?"

"Kinda, but not really." 

That was unhelpful. 

The door opened and Ace rolled away from you to sit up. 

"Hey, Doc. The patient's up at last."

The popular consensus was that Dr.Green was a massively tall skeleton to behold. That doesn't come close to describing how it felt to be in a room with him. The vaulted ceiling of whatever room this was just barely had enough space for him to stand up straight, his shoulders were wide and his limbs so long you could barely comprehend them when he reached out to you. 

He checked your eyes and tilted your head around before laying a palm on your forehead to check your temperature. 

"That's good to see! I believe the worst has passed, which means we've come to the news part of our visit." He said in a soothing voice that filled the room but did little to help the anxiety welling up inside you.

"What news?" 

"Well, what happened to you was a brief but no doubt scary quantum destabilization." 

"Well, that does sound scary."

"I experienced it myself, as did my brother when we jumped timelines. Your timeline noticed the hole you left behind and well...closed it." He said folding his hands and waiting patiently for you to absorb it all.

You felt cold despite the warmth Ace had brought you, thinking about your life as a hole in the universe could simply close up was...difficult.

"Your timeline merged with a nearby timeline that was practically the same as the one you left behind. For your loved ones at least. this means you never left. Everything goes on as normal."

Normal, except you weren't there. Some other person, much like you but not exactly, was recovering with her friends and family. She probably just had a random health scare, a day or two in the hospital and you'd be back home eating junk food with everyone. 

But you, the version of you that had been taken away was laying here. 

"It didn't matter if I ever went home." You said softly, flopping back down on the bed to stare upwards at the ceiling until Green's skull leaned over you. 

"Are you okay? I can sedate you if your mind is overloading."

"Nah...It's just weird. Quantum mechanics and the nature of reality doesn't exactly care about feelings, does it?" 

The rhetorical question felt like the final lock slamming shut on a door. Behind it was your old life, everything you held dear and familiar was locked away to never be seen again. All on the whims of a mad god who just needed, so badly, for this one lonely timeline to hold the promise of love. 

"I hear from Stretch that she's a huge stoner, Doc." Ace said to break the silence that had begun to feel like a physical weight. 

"I'll get her a medical card once Sans gets her papers in order, Oh also! you've got a broken wrist." Green said and reached down to check your pulse at your neck. "Now, if you aren't in a crisis I must go, My work is never ending."   
  
You lifted your hand and saw the cast wrapped around your right hand. Oh, that's what felt wrong.  
  
"Okay, cool. I'm good," You muttered softly that you were going to be fine which was all he needed to teleport away. You just laid there, not gnawing over the information so much as you were trying to push the negative emotions away from it. 

Your friends and family will not suffer, you're still there for them. 

This is good.

Beyond the impulsive need to be angry, to feel betrayed and lost, you knew that it was best that they wouldn't be scared. They wouldn't be waiting for you to come home, because for them...you never left. 

Hot breath on your cheek brought your attention to Ace's face leaning impossibly close to yours. You yelped and flinched away with a look of confusion, He just met it with another crooked smile. 

"You blinked, I win." 

"Oh. Sorry, I was...processing," you said, cheeks flushed. It was pretty hard to focus on the information when he smiled like that and smelled so good.

"And it's probably a lot to process. Which is why you should save some of it for later." Ace said as he grabbed your arms and hauled you into a sitting position, you were thankfully still in the pajamas from earlier. "You seem like the kind of person who overwhelms themselves if you let 'em think too long." 

You couldn't argue with that. 

"Way I see it...It may not have mattered if you got home, but it does matter that you ended up here." Ace said as he hooked an arm around you and pulled you firmly to his side. His boney bicep pressing against your cheek, smooshing the other cheek into his surprisingly comfortable ribs. 

"After all, you're like us. Something new and different in a world that didn't have you before. Now, do you wanna snuggle more, or is it food time?" 

You briefly weighed existential navel-gazing paired with possible crying and feeling of worthlessness, against the idea of eating food with real skeletons. 

"I don't think I've eaten since I got here, too busy dying or crying." 

"Well, let's get some food inside you before you faint." He said, not unsmooshing your face as he dug a phone out of his pocket. 

He was cute but this was a little annoying, you decided and slipped enough out of his grip to free your face so you could look around. 

"Which room is this?" you asked, it was mostly empty save for the bed and a bare dresser. A set of double glass doors on either side and one normal wood door at the end. 

"The loft. Might end up being your room, if you like it." 

"Yeah, that makes sense," you said, kinda glad the balcony over the living room had doors. Nobody needed to hear your music or tv...or have someone think they can just sneak in cause your room is 'open'. It had enough space, more than enough compared to what you were used to. It was going to take time to figure out what to do with it...time you had now.

"They wanna know what you want for dinner, snuggle bug."

"Pizza. Good old, low stakes, not going to destroy the universe...Pizza." You muttered and narrowed your eyes at what you thought was an open closet. Just barely in the shadows, you could make out a mirror and sink. 

"Oh my god, is that an on-suite bathroom?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Feelings of helplessness, existential dread
> 
> \------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Thanks for the love, ya'll! It means a lot that you like my little trash fic. 
> 
> Smoke'em if you got'em, Let's get weird


	7. Pressure Cooker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace is a skeleton and he has a face. That's a lot to handle all at once.

You stood in the modest bathroom and marveled at it, toilet without a potted plant in it, sink with a decent counter, mirror with storage, a shower stall! It was everything you needed, but the crown jewel was the massive garden tub in the corner. The deep tub was sat under a small window with stained glass accents and you were already daydreaming of soaking while reading a book. It wasn't your old home, but you could see yourself getting used to this. 

Ace leaned against the doorframe, watching you explore with amusement on his cracked face. His usual coat shrugged off left his attractive boney arms exposed, it was hard not to steal glances of him in the mirror. 

"I'm getting the vibe that a nice bathroom is the key to keeping humans comfortable."

"Not gonna lie, it goes a very long way." You said and opened the closet, pleasantly surprised when you found your shopping inside. Someone had cared to leave some of your new clothes along with some towels and all your bath stuff. 

"I am totally going to take a shower before dinner!" You said with excitement, gathering things to place on the sink or on the blessed built-in shelf on the shower. 

"Cool with me. Enjoy yourself, Lovebug."

The door shut as you let out a huff of amusement at the nickname. What was with these skeletons and the cute nicknames? You finished arranging your shampoo and soaps and turned on the hot water to let the stall warm up. You pulled off your shirt and tossed it vaguely away, pushing your pants down to join them. But as you bent over you noticed something, there was another set of legs over by the sink. Straightening up, you threw a startled glance over your shoulder to see Ace playing on his phone. Casually leaning against the door with his hand in his pocket, just...hanging out. 

"Ace. Why are you still in here?" You asked, arms coming up to cover your chest. 

"Oh, your soul is still shaky. I wanna stick nearby just in case you get faint." He glanced up and you felt a hot flush wash over your face and chest. "Don't mind me, I won't peek unless it's an emergency."

"Dude, you looked just now!"

"Heh, well I won't after this time." 

God, he was smug. 

It was so **hot.**

_Who's fucking idea was this Skeleton, anyway? Who DARED to make this man and give him form?_ You wondered in frustration as you swiftly undressed and slipped into the shower, pulling the frosted glass door shut. 

All these handsome, beautiful, amazing trash men were going to give you a fucking heart attack! You've never had so much attention, it was like getting love-bombed. You adjusted the water and tried to focus on just cleaning yourself up. 

"Hey, Lovebug."

_Oh god._

"Yeah?" 

"You want me to scrub your back? I could rub your shoulders too." He chuckled and you felt your face burn. This was a lot, like A Lot after everything you've been through and it wasn't like you could irresponsibly jump into anything with these guys before you figured out the vibe. 

"Bug?"

He was nuts! Getting all flirty like this so soon! It's not like you even really knew what to do, you weren't normally the kind of person that got flirted with. 

"AA **AA**!! STAA **AAAP**!" You snapped and you could see him jump through the frosted glass. "This is so unfair, you're too handsome and this is really intense and I'm _freaking out_!" 

"Heh, What-?" Ace started but was interrupted by a pop of magic. 

"Hey, what's going on?!" Said a blob that appeared to be wearing a light blue and white hoodie. 

"Blue?!" You asked, squinting at the shape and silently thanked the stars. 

Blue looked around the room and gave Ace a rather disbelieving look. 

"Stars Above! G, why are you creeping on her in the bathroom?!" 

"Hey, she might faint again. I was just watching out for her...but I think I might have flirted a little too much. Heh, sorry about that, Bug." 

"W-wha-? Flirting? G! That's it! You go downstairs and think about what you've done! I'll take care of Y/N!"

"Okay, Okay. Fair enough, oh...and my name is Ace now."

"Huh? Okay, since when?"

"Oh, since Y/N renamed me." Ace said, winking at Blue before teleporting off, leaving a wisp of smoky magic in his wake. 

\------------------------------------------

Ace arrived in his room, fanning the magic smoke away from himself as he tossed open his suitcase. That human, she was really cute! Couldn't take the direct approach though, it was like turning up a pressure cooker! Eventually, she gets overwhelmed and pops.

He turned and caught sight of himself in the closet mirror, flashing himself a grin he slid up to his reflection. "Hey there! So, a little ladybug told me you, sir. You are just far too handsome." 

He leaned into the reflection, looking himself dead in the eye. "It's true, you drove her absolutely wild, Ace." He couldn't help the chuckle that came when he said his new name. She thought he was that cool? 

Heh, she was really cute! 

He returned to his suitcase and looked through his clothes. Maybe, she just needed to be reminded he was still Sans in a way? She seemed way more relaxed with them, so, it was time for a different approach. 

\--------------------------------------------

"Hey, Y/N?" 

He'd been silent for a little bit after Ace announced his new name, You'd been worried. The tone in his voice and the stance of his blurry form confirmed it, Blue was sad and probably jealous. You weren't sure why a nickname was something to be jealous of, guess it was just about who got to know you the most first? 

"Yeah, Blue? You okay out there?" 

"Y-yeah, I'm cool. I'm great!" He faked but you let it slide. You could see him gesturing but the frosted glass and the fact he was facing away from you made it hard to make out. "I'm just, a little confused. I mean, Ace had a nickname already. Why'd you give him a new one?"

"It was just the name I knew him by the most where I came from. Like, you're called Blueberry, right?" That was the truth, you just thought 'Ace' when you thought of the fusion skeleton back home.

"Oh, hey! Yeah! How'd you know?! You know a lot about us come to think of it..."

You couldn't face answering that question wet and naked. 

"It's cute but it's a bit childish for you, isn't it?" You changed the subject as you stepped from the shower, snatched up the towel to quickly dry off, and covered yourself. 

"I mean, you deserve something cooler sounding. Like, Bluejay!" 

\----------------------------------------

**_Bluejay!_ **The name echoed in Blue's skull and instantly fought off the strange feelings of jealousy that been filling him up. He grinned, eyes lighting up bright enough to cast an azure glow on the wall. He pressed a hand to his chest, his soul was fluttering and swelling with so much joy! It felt right like she just gently re-adjusted a crooked picture and made the whole house look better. 

"I like it! Bluejay! Wow! Why Bluejay, though?" he asked, feeling the warm magical flush spreading over her skull but he could hardly care! 

"Well, Bluejay keeps the Blue part but I think it's more like an adult's nickname! Plus, you wear similar colors to a Bluejay! Have you seen one yet? It's a bird." 

_**SHE NAMED ME AFTER A COOL BIRD!!!**_ A cool bird that flies up in the sky! Blue's soul hummed happily at the thought of being able to soar through the sky...he'd have to train for levitation magic more! 

"I don't think I have! I'll look them up!" He got his phone out and happily searched them. The sound of joy he made when he saw them startled a laugh out of Y/N. 

"They're so SPORTY! So cool!" He was giddy as he read about the beautiful birds and had to yank his hood over his head to hide the glow of his skull. They were clever and friendly, playful and cool! She really thought about him when she saw them? 

"I think I got a new favorite animal!" He said, looking for a new lock screen image of the bird. 

"That's great, Jaybird!" 

_Oh, Stars!_

"But could you wait outside while I change and stuff?" 

He swallowed and let out a shy chuckle, shuffling carefully to the door. 

"Alright! I'll just be out here!" 

And I'll be trying to calm down before you or anyone else sees me! If anyone caught him acting like a lovesick teen, He'd NEVER live it down! 

But still. 

She'd given him a name that felt more like _him_. He couldn't blame Ace for being proud. 

\----------------------------------------------

When you pulled on the dark red leggings covered in a swirling black print, you thought Red had a surprising amount of style. Then you unfolded the hoodie, it was a lovely dark grey and very soft BUT the graphic on the front. A Calico cat with a large bow and glittery collar fluttered her lashes, which was cute, the words "My Daddy Says I'm Purr-fect!" were less cute. 

"I expected puns, I expected flirting. These boys out-do themselves in person," you muttered and despite the graphic or maybe because it was so awful, you pulled the hoodie on. You looked in the mirror and smoothed out your clothes, they fit! They fit better than most of the clothes you left behind anyway. 

Grabbing the small MTT human-style makeup kit(TM) you looked to the cracked door, able to see Blue still hovering nearby.

"I'm done dressing, Blue! I just need to put on my face!" 

"Put on what?" Blue asked, pushing the door open his brows knit in confusion. "You already have a face."

However, when he spied you taking a brow pencil to your face his sockets lit up. he gasped and hurried to your side to watch. 

"OH! You mean makeup! It's so cool how humans can transform themselves with just a few colors! I love things like bone care and...well, all I can do is bone care. Heh," He chuckled and you were delighted that he found you filling your brows so cool.

One brow down you paused to inspect him in the bright bathroom light. You hadn't really had a good look at anyone's face like this yet, it was kinda amazing. His bones weren't pure white, it was like there was this faint layer of blue shimmer over him and you could swear on closer inspection his bluish freckles seemed to be very, very small stars. He wasn't just cool or cute, he was beautiful the longer you stared. It wasn't until you realized he was blushing that you looked away, your own face a touch more colorful. 

"Whatever you're doing is amazing, you're almost sparkly!" 

"You noticed?!" He exclaimed, gloved hands pumping in excitement. "It's the MTT Bishonen cream! It's supposed to bring out the color of my magical matrix and increase my sparkle factor by 30%!" 

He looked at himself in the mirror with a confident grin, stroking his chin and puffing out his chest. 

"And Red said I was wasting my money! HA!" He dropped his voice low and grunted to imitate Red. "Yer bein' stoopid, squirt! Goils ain't gonna notice dat crap!" 

You snorted and thankfully didn't mess up your second eyebrow, grinning at him in the mirror. 

"Sounds exactly like him! I could swear he was right here with us, Anyway! Pink or Black eyeshadow?" you asked holding the pallet up to him. He pointed to the pink, of course, he'd pick the brighter color! You set to smearing it on your eyelids, not bothering with primer. 

"Hey, Y/N?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it really that hard to talk about how you know so much about us?"

You froze.

"I mean, A lot has happened but...you avoid it when it comes up."

You swallowed and skipped the eyeliner, your hands were too shaky now. 

"It kinda is, I mean. I am going to tell you guys, I promise. I don't wanna keep secrets like that from you, I don't. I just...I don't know how to explain it all yet. Plus, I can't possibly know everything, I just kinda got this vague idea of how things might be." You rambled, hoping to make sense as you tried to focus on mascara. Block out the scary emotions by focusing on your own eyes, it will pass and you won't be a mess at the end if you focused.

"I didn't know you guys personally or anything, I don't know a lot about monsters in general or magic or how my life is going to go in this world. I just...got dragged along cause I wanted to help you," admitting it made it so real. 

You can't go back to your reality, you gave up everything for them. They really meant so much to you? 

"Wow. Thank you, Y/N! I mean, heh, I dunno if that crazy guy was right to do this. I mean, not getting a girlfriend isn't an emergency! But I'm glad the person he picked was someone who really cares!" 

His hand was solid, warm, and real on your shoulder. He smiled, nothing but kindness in his sockets and you couldn't resist smiling back. 

"I'm glad to be here." And you really were.

Blue's gaze drifted down and unfortunately landed on your outfit, his brows knit as he let out a low sound of annoyance. "Oh man, Why did Edge let Red pick your clothes?!" 

"I don't know and honestly, the longer I wear it the more I like it." You admitted, looking down at the flirty cat on your torso. 

"Oh, STARS! He's going to ruin you!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, Probably gonna break 1000 hits after posting this. I am amazed that many people thought my trash was worth clicking on already!
> 
> Thank you everyone! 
> 
> Also, i have a tumblr for anyone who wants to come bother me. Content warning, I ship like everything and I'm going to try and be better about tagging.  
> Hopefully more Original Content and Fic updates too. [Toilet Mojito](https://toilet-mojito.tumblr.com/)


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